I had a conversation with a brother today, and I left pretty discouraged. I left feeling like I was not doing enough, and that the way to be happier is to do more, and that I need to be like other people who were busier. I got the impression that doing more, being involved with more things is the way to redeem people; and that "prospective" Christians- I hate that term- are only reached through programs and activities. I walked away hurt and discouraged. I walked away feeling like the people I have helped, the brothers in the body I have spent time with was all for nothing. I felt that my idea of discipleship and encouragement was not up to par with a program that brings people to a building and teaches people earthly knowledge with just a sprinkle of true life in Jesus on top. I was deeply crushed and hurt. But it made me think to myself how much this happens all the time. So, it led me to write my thoughts on "The Art and Deception of Being Busy"
The Art and Deception of Being Busy
There is Salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to people by which me must be saved. (Acts 4:12) There are no programs, institutions, clubs, or seminars that result in salvation. Neither for ourselves, nor for those who are lost. The art of and deception of being busy is plaguing people with the idea that being busy saves and redeems God's people. Or that doing lots of activities brings happiness to those who are depressed, or comfort to those that are hurting. Jesus did not start Weight Watchers not did he teach English. He lived and taught Discipleship, Love, and that there is a remedy to the terminal illness of sin, and that He was it. (John 14:6)
The art of and deception of being busy. Lots of classes and hours of service do not save and they do not redeem people. They in and of themselves, are not wrong, nor are they bad. However, when we get Discipleship and true service confused with being busy, the Devil has won. The Devil loves people who work all the time. The Devil loves it when we are too busy to help the family of God and those who are truly seeking and are in need. The Devil loves busy people. Busy people forget the peace, rest, and comfort found in, and ONLY in the Lord.
Do serve, and do teach. Do encourage, and do help, but don't be busy. Be redemptive and humble. Don't have hidden agendas or ulterior motives. Be transparent and be open. Be supportive, but don't be busy.
1 Timothy 1:5-6 says, " Now the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith. Some have deviated from these and turned aside to fruitless discussion." The message of the Gospel is only for good, but as you can see, there were people who wanted to be BUSY rather than redemptive. And Paul warns against it.
The Enemies of Jesus, or Pharisees, were the best at being busy. Pharisees prayed loud prayers, in the open. They gave lots of money in the presence of others to show off. They held banquets, knowing that they would be invited to many others, and they made sure they taught people how to keep God's law. The Pharisees, were very busy people. They made Jesus sick. In Matthew 23 Jesus Rebukes them and their religious hypocrisy. They were looking BUSY for the people to see, but they were nothing but busy. Empty, and fruitless. We are called to not be busy, but to be fruitful and redemptive. We are called to relationship with God and his people.
The art of and deception of being busy. Joy and peace are not found in tasks, but in the bosom of our Lord. Rest is found in the words and heart of Jesus. Matthew 11:28-29 show that Jesus offers rest, and that we only find that rest when we take on the work of his will, and not being busy. Only true devotion to the Lord and submission to his will, will we find peace and rest. *Note: I am the worst of the worst in this area, I do not pretend to be an expert. I am just sharing with what I am learning and struggling with. I am not perfect.
Don't let being busy determine your thinking. Don't be so task oriented you look over those who are truly in need. Don't be so distracted with programs and clubs that you forge to live the abundant life Jesus came to give.(John 10:10) Open your eyes, escape, and see through THE ART AND DECEPTION OF BEING BUSY.
-- Darin Thompson
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Hmm...
Dear world, (at least those who read this thing)
I realized something today. I talk too much. I really, really hate it. I sometimes think I have something important to say, or something intelligent to share with the world. I am starting to realize that that usually is not true. I can accept this. I get a lot of comments from the people around me, most of them seem to be negative. I sometimes feel ignored or attacked. That may be true, I seriously, seriously feel that way sometimes. But maybe they have a point. I talk all the time, but never really say anything. So, I don't think I am going to talk much anymore. I seriously don't have anything good to say. Just filler to keep me busy.
I would like to think I could keep it up...we'll see. I think I seriously may try to live out the old time bit of wisdom, speak when spoken to. Sure that may be something parents say to get their kids to shut-up and pretend that those are polite manners, but I think I am going to try and live it out...For awhile at least. I will continue to write thoughts, and listen to music and things like that, but I just don't feel like talking anymore. Maybe I will learn something. I hope.
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.
I leave you all with this verse that stuck out to me today.
"By your endurance gain your lives."
- Luke 21:19
I realized something today. I talk too much. I really, really hate it. I sometimes think I have something important to say, or something intelligent to share with the world. I am starting to realize that that usually is not true. I can accept this. I get a lot of comments from the people around me, most of them seem to be negative. I sometimes feel ignored or attacked. That may be true, I seriously, seriously feel that way sometimes. But maybe they have a point. I talk all the time, but never really say anything. So, I don't think I am going to talk much anymore. I seriously don't have anything good to say. Just filler to keep me busy.
I would like to think I could keep it up...we'll see. I think I seriously may try to live out the old time bit of wisdom, speak when spoken to. Sure that may be something parents say to get their kids to shut-up and pretend that those are polite manners, but I think I am going to try and live it out...For awhile at least. I will continue to write thoughts, and listen to music and things like that, but I just don't feel like talking anymore. Maybe I will learn something. I hope.
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.
I leave you all with this verse that stuck out to me today.
"By your endurance gain your lives."
- Luke 21:19
Monday, November 10, 2008
Faith...is the victory that overcomes the world?
So, today the team was cleaning up the "garden" and the parking lot today. We were picking up trash obviously. And it wasn't like a cool, youth group project where there are 30 zealous kids, singing and laughing and making it a grand ole' time. I was by myself most of the time, and it left me with a lot of time to think about life and my decisions in life. FAITH was a big thing that came to mind.
I was thinking about what Faith really looked like, and how it played out in my life. In case you didn't know this about me, I tend to take things to the extreme or say bold things, that may be offensive or "off color". But while I was picking up trash I had this thought:
"What in the world am I doing. I am cleaning up trash in a Godless country, in FAITH, and hope that some spiritual deity in the great cosmos is going to make sense out of all of this seemingly insignificant task, some where in some point in time."
Then it only expanded from there. Where does my faith come from? Then I realized, it came from a book. Words on a page, are guiding my life. Or at least I try to let them guide me. Everything in my life is because of words on a page in a most significant order.
These words say there is a God who created everything around me. They tell me that he crushed nations, and he lifted them up. That from the beginning of time, he had a plan in motion to bring about relationship with peons. Little "grasshoppers" and this God, says he is going to send his son to wipe away sin from the earth so that we can enter in a pure and undefiled relationship with the this God, that gives and takes away. He also Tests, but doesn't tempt, He forgives and forgets sin, but knows everything at the same time. He knows the outcome of the world, yet we still have free will.
I know the historicity and credibility of the Bible, but still, FAITH requires you to take that step and let words on a page be a guide for your life.
I guess you could say that I was struggling with my faith, but I think I am slowly realizing more and more what it is. Sometimes Faith doesn't make any sense at all, and you are left stranded guessing and worrying. But Faith says I have grace. Needless to say, I will never run out of things to think about and ponder.
What does your faith look like? What is it telling you?
My faith is a mystery, and it is revealed to my a little everyday. My faith is a victory that will overcome the world. Will yours?
I was thinking about what Faith really looked like, and how it played out in my life. In case you didn't know this about me, I tend to take things to the extreme or say bold things, that may be offensive or "off color". But while I was picking up trash I had this thought:
"What in the world am I doing. I am cleaning up trash in a Godless country, in FAITH, and hope that some spiritual deity in the great cosmos is going to make sense out of all of this seemingly insignificant task, some where in some point in time."
Then it only expanded from there. Where does my faith come from? Then I realized, it came from a book. Words on a page, are guiding my life. Or at least I try to let them guide me. Everything in my life is because of words on a page in a most significant order.
These words say there is a God who created everything around me. They tell me that he crushed nations, and he lifted them up. That from the beginning of time, he had a plan in motion to bring about relationship with peons. Little "grasshoppers" and this God, says he is going to send his son to wipe away sin from the earth so that we can enter in a pure and undefiled relationship with the this God, that gives and takes away. He also Tests, but doesn't tempt, He forgives and forgets sin, but knows everything at the same time. He knows the outcome of the world, yet we still have free will.
I know the historicity and credibility of the Bible, but still, FAITH requires you to take that step and let words on a page be a guide for your life.
I guess you could say that I was struggling with my faith, but I think I am slowly realizing more and more what it is. Sometimes Faith doesn't make any sense at all, and you are left stranded guessing and worrying. But Faith says I have grace. Needless to say, I will never run out of things to think about and ponder.
What does your faith look like? What is it telling you?
My faith is a mystery, and it is revealed to my a little everyday. My faith is a victory that will overcome the world. Will yours?
Saturday, November 1, 2008
An open book..
Sorry for the next however long this becomes. This is a complete rant of how I "feel" at the moment.
I hate where I am. I don't want God as much as I want, I want to live for myself. I Hate living on the mission Field. I hate being away from my family. My heart hurts for many people and many things. I want so much out of life and I feel that is passing away in front on my eyes while I sit here and feel useless and wasteful. I don't have the courage or the strength or the motivation to change. I don't want to change. I enjoy where I am, and hate it at the same time. My life is such a paradox.
I am depressed, but joyful. hateful but thankful. confused but I know what I am doing. Lost, but found. Blind, but I see. I know what to do, but I don't do it. I want to complain. I want to do something else. I want to be home. I want to play music, I want to cry, and laugh. I want to be right with God, but I don't want to feel guilty for sin. I want to be with the girl of my dreams. I want to be where I want to be without the pain and growth, right now. I don't want to fear, I don't want to hurt, I don't want to doubt. I want to shout, and run. I want what I want, and I want it now. This post is so depressing and negative, but I have to say it. I can't hold it in.
I need to cry, but I can't. I need to repent, but I don't know how. I want my arm to quit twitching, but it won't. I want to worship, but I feel trapped. I want connection with God and the power to overcome sin, but I don't know how to get it. I want to have the faith I see on stage. I want to feel as though I have everything together. I want to have a huge faith. I want God to fit in my box. I want God to do what I want him to do, the way I want it done. I want my way to be effective. I want my way to be the best way. I want people to cater to my needs. I want to surf, and to play footbag. I want to play the drums in a band. I want my life to be a living sacrifice to the Lord. But I want it on my terms. I want to be humble, but I don't want it to hurt. I want to be submissive but I don't want to serve.
What is my problem, where have I gone wrong. I can't put my finger on it. I hate the lame simply answers to my problems. I only hate them because I know that they are the truth. I want to have my bad attitude and expect things to be good for me. I want a negative outlook and then things to be positive. I want, I want I want.
What a pathetic loser, I have become. Stuck in sin. Sometimes I care, and sometimes I don't. My prayers are cold, my faith is weak. My walk is more of a stumble. I am not growing, I am not maturing. I am dying and I can feel it. I hear the message, but I don't apply. I love the story, but don't want to be in it. I want praise from men, and I want all the Glory. I want to be on the throne, and I want my crown. How weak I am. Am I ranting? Am I just flying off the handle and don't mean anything I say? Who knows. Am I going crazy? What a wretch I am. I am definitely not strong. People doubt if I will make it here. I doubt myself. Maybe I won't make it. Maybe I will quit. I don't want to, but at the same time I do. I will continue to wake up every morning and put my feet in my shoes and walk. I will fall, and hate, I will sin and cry. I will be confused and I will sin. I will want, and I will curse. I will judge, and I will mock. I will be a hypocrite and I will criticize. I will expect things to be done a certain way, and I will be upset when they don't work out. God if you are there, hear my pray. Fix my broken spirit. Lift me up in my day of trouble.
Here is my prayer God:
God, I want to love you more than I do.
I don't want to sin, but I will, and I will want to when it happens.
I am afraid of the end, I am afraid of forever.
I doubt the power of your grace, and the journey I am on.
I don't talk to you enough nor do I read enough of your word.
You know me better than I know myself. You know me in and out.
You love it when I rant and rave, because you will be there when I look back and become embarrassed.
You love it when I hit wall after wall and realize you are what I am looking for the whole time.
You love it when I love you. You love it when I somehow get things right.
Lord, you know what I hate, you know where I hate being.
God, you know everything about me. Things are either going to change or they won't.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I am a "leader" and I am the worst of the worst.
I don't know what to say, or how to say, it So I am just going to end it right here...
I hate where I am. I don't want God as much as I want, I want to live for myself. I Hate living on the mission Field. I hate being away from my family. My heart hurts for many people and many things. I want so much out of life and I feel that is passing away in front on my eyes while I sit here and feel useless and wasteful. I don't have the courage or the strength or the motivation to change. I don't want to change. I enjoy where I am, and hate it at the same time. My life is such a paradox.
I am depressed, but joyful. hateful but thankful. confused but I know what I am doing. Lost, but found. Blind, but I see. I know what to do, but I don't do it. I want to complain. I want to do something else. I want to be home. I want to play music, I want to cry, and laugh. I want to be right with God, but I don't want to feel guilty for sin. I want to be with the girl of my dreams. I want to be where I want to be without the pain and growth, right now. I don't want to fear, I don't want to hurt, I don't want to doubt. I want to shout, and run. I want what I want, and I want it now. This post is so depressing and negative, but I have to say it. I can't hold it in.
I need to cry, but I can't. I need to repent, but I don't know how. I want my arm to quit twitching, but it won't. I want to worship, but I feel trapped. I want connection with God and the power to overcome sin, but I don't know how to get it. I want to have the faith I see on stage. I want to feel as though I have everything together. I want to have a huge faith. I want God to fit in my box. I want God to do what I want him to do, the way I want it done. I want my way to be effective. I want my way to be the best way. I want people to cater to my needs. I want to surf, and to play footbag. I want to play the drums in a band. I want my life to be a living sacrifice to the Lord. But I want it on my terms. I want to be humble, but I don't want it to hurt. I want to be submissive but I don't want to serve.
What is my problem, where have I gone wrong. I can't put my finger on it. I hate the lame simply answers to my problems. I only hate them because I know that they are the truth. I want to have my bad attitude and expect things to be good for me. I want a negative outlook and then things to be positive. I want, I want I want.
What a pathetic loser, I have become. Stuck in sin. Sometimes I care, and sometimes I don't. My prayers are cold, my faith is weak. My walk is more of a stumble. I am not growing, I am not maturing. I am dying and I can feel it. I hear the message, but I don't apply. I love the story, but don't want to be in it. I want praise from men, and I want all the Glory. I want to be on the throne, and I want my crown. How weak I am. Am I ranting? Am I just flying off the handle and don't mean anything I say? Who knows. Am I going crazy? What a wretch I am. I am definitely not strong. People doubt if I will make it here. I doubt myself. Maybe I won't make it. Maybe I will quit. I don't want to, but at the same time I do. I will continue to wake up every morning and put my feet in my shoes and walk. I will fall, and hate, I will sin and cry. I will be confused and I will sin. I will want, and I will curse. I will judge, and I will mock. I will be a hypocrite and I will criticize. I will expect things to be done a certain way, and I will be upset when they don't work out. God if you are there, hear my pray. Fix my broken spirit. Lift me up in my day of trouble.
Here is my prayer God:
God, I want to love you more than I do.
I don't want to sin, but I will, and I will want to when it happens.
I am afraid of the end, I am afraid of forever.
I doubt the power of your grace, and the journey I am on.
I don't talk to you enough nor do I read enough of your word.
You know me better than I know myself. You know me in and out.
You love it when I rant and rave, because you will be there when I look back and become embarrassed.
You love it when I hit wall after wall and realize you are what I am looking for the whole time.
You love it when I love you. You love it when I somehow get things right.
Lord, you know what I hate, you know where I hate being.
God, you know everything about me. Things are either going to change or they won't.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I am a "leader" and I am the worst of the worst.
I don't know what to say, or how to say, it So I am just going to end it right here...
Monday, September 22, 2008
Glass Case of Emotion
Glass Case of Emotion
Father God I am trapped
I am trapped by my fear of the great unknown
Free me from myself Lord, lift me up in my time of need
My God be present in my life
Bring my the comfort you have promised, heal me from the inside out.
You are my light and my salvation
I shall not fear
I shall not fear
You are my strength and my comfort
I shall not fear
I shall not fear
Father God I am trapped, Set me Free!
Father God I am trapped
I am trapped by my fear of the great unknown
Free me from myself Lord, lift me up in my time of need
My God be present in my life
Bring my the comfort you have promised, heal me from the inside out.
You are my light and my salvation
I shall not fear
I shall not fear
You are my strength and my comfort
I shall not fear
I shall not fear
Father God I am trapped, Set me Free!
Monday, September 15, 2008
We Shall See Landfall
I have written another song, I hope you like it.
We Shall See Landfall
In over our heads we have exhausted all possibilities
Our human efforts have proven to be a waste and our earthly wisdom is useless
The seas continue to roar and the winds don't cease
The Master continues to sleep
Don't you care that we are going to die (x3)
Peace, Be Still (x3)
Why do you fear Oh where is your faith
Hear my promise and believe
You will see landfall, you will be safe
We Shall See Landfall
In over our heads we have exhausted all possibilities
Our human efforts have proven to be a waste and our earthly wisdom is useless
The seas continue to roar and the winds don't cease
The Master continues to sleep
Don't you care that we are going to die (x3)
Peace, Be Still (x3)
Why do you fear Oh where is your faith
Hear my promise and believe
You will see landfall, you will be safe
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Are you there God? It's me.
ALONE!
Do you like the feeling of being alone? neither do I and that is how I felt just about all day. I think being or feeling alone is a very dark and scary feeling. A feeling that God doesn't want us to feel.
I felt truly alone today. I was out, with a band that I met here in Albania. They are some cool guys, but the spirit is not in them. Today, I was alone. I felt Satan's power of the world. I felt his angels in the world, working and hardening hearts and turning people away from their creator. And to be honest, it made me want to curl up and die. I don't think we were created to be alone. Even Jesus knew the necessity of companionship. We see this in The Gospel of Mark 14:32-42.
Here we see Jesus facing his impending doom head on. He knows he's about to be betrayed, and he knows he is about to suffer. And he doesn't want to face it alone. So he asks his 3 best and closest friends to be with him and keep watch. Peter, James, and John. But guess what. They fall asleep. How terrible Jesus must have felt. Jesus is facing death and all he wants is his best friends to be with him, and they dessert him because they are a little tired. We know the rest of the story. I don't say that to make light of it, but we do know the story.
My emphasis was on the fact that even the king of the world needed companionship and friendship in the spirit. We live in a dark world, don't try and face it alone. Be bold, be courageous, but do it with community, have accountability have friends. Don't be alone.
I encourage you to step up to the challenge and create the unity in the spirit. Go out and find the person who is alone, start a group that is all about christian community. Don't wait for it to come to you because it won't. I am telling you this from experience. Companionship is a necessity, and I believe with every aspect of my being that we were meant to be together. So let's live it.
God Bless.
Do you like the feeling of being alone? neither do I and that is how I felt just about all day. I think being or feeling alone is a very dark and scary feeling. A feeling that God doesn't want us to feel.
I felt truly alone today. I was out, with a band that I met here in Albania. They are some cool guys, but the spirit is not in them. Today, I was alone. I felt Satan's power of the world. I felt his angels in the world, working and hardening hearts and turning people away from their creator. And to be honest, it made me want to curl up and die. I don't think we were created to be alone. Even Jesus knew the necessity of companionship. We see this in The Gospel of Mark 14:32-42.
Here we see Jesus facing his impending doom head on. He knows he's about to be betrayed, and he knows he is about to suffer. And he doesn't want to face it alone. So he asks his 3 best and closest friends to be with him and keep watch. Peter, James, and John. But guess what. They fall asleep. How terrible Jesus must have felt. Jesus is facing death and all he wants is his best friends to be with him, and they dessert him because they are a little tired. We know the rest of the story. I don't say that to make light of it, but we do know the story.
My emphasis was on the fact that even the king of the world needed companionship and friendship in the spirit. We live in a dark world, don't try and face it alone. Be bold, be courageous, but do it with community, have accountability have friends. Don't be alone.
I encourage you to step up to the challenge and create the unity in the spirit. Go out and find the person who is alone, start a group that is all about christian community. Don't wait for it to come to you because it won't. I am telling you this from experience. Companionship is a necessity, and I believe with every aspect of my being that we were meant to be together. So let's live it.
God Bless.
Friday, September 5, 2008
But...
We are all guilty of using the word "but". It's part of our human nature. We are beings of condition. We are beings that like things, BUT, if it hurts us or costs us something, we seem to complain or we let it go all together.
I have been thinking this quite a bit today and this is my thought. If we made a list of our this or that, BUT we would have a long list and I believe it would look pretty silly and pathetic.
I love you, BUT I don't like you.
I will help you, BUT I won't enjoy it.
I will teach, BUT I know nothing good will come out of it.
I know what to do, BUT I can't do it.
The list can, and does go on. But, the point of this post was to look at Jesus. These are some of the things I see Jesus and God saying all the time. The list, to me, looks something different.
I know that creation will turn and forget me, BUT I will create them anyway.
I know they will ignore my laws and commands, BUT I will give them a way to come back to me.
I know they will reject me and persecute me, BUT I will go down and die anyway.
I know I could turn these stones into bread, BUT man does not live on bread alone.
I know I am innocent, BUT I lay my life down so that others may live.
I know that I am scared, BUT I am going anyway.
But...Nothing is what I have to say for myself. I have no right complaining or arguing about anything. So, let's go out there and be Jesus.
I know I am a sinner, BUT I am redeemed. So I am trying to live like it.
God Bless.
I have been thinking this quite a bit today and this is my thought. If we made a list of our this or that, BUT we would have a long list and I believe it would look pretty silly and pathetic.
I love you, BUT I don't like you.
I will help you, BUT I won't enjoy it.
I will teach, BUT I know nothing good will come out of it.
I know what to do, BUT I can't do it.
The list can, and does go on. But, the point of this post was to look at Jesus. These are some of the things I see Jesus and God saying all the time. The list, to me, looks something different.
I know that creation will turn and forget me, BUT I will create them anyway.
I know they will ignore my laws and commands, BUT I will give them a way to come back to me.
I know they will reject me and persecute me, BUT I will go down and die anyway.
I know I could turn these stones into bread, BUT man does not live on bread alone.
I know I am innocent, BUT I lay my life down so that others may live.
I know that I am scared, BUT I am going anyway.
But...Nothing is what I have to say for myself. I have no right complaining or arguing about anything. So, let's go out there and be Jesus.
I know I am a sinner, BUT I am redeemed. So I am trying to live like it.
God Bless.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Beauty of Silence
There are times that I absolutely despise myself. I hate being prideful and I hate belittling people, and I hate trying to put myself on a pedestal. But guess what, I do it every day. And chances are, you do to.
Walking home tonight I was unusually quiet. A friend spoke up and asked me why I was so quiet. My answer was quick and simple. This what I said:
" I was thinking about my speech. I was thinking that, if I never belittled someone, or made myself look better than someone, nor did I make fun of someone, I would probably be silent."
And I was. I have the hardest time being humble. Many people know that. (Thanks for pointing it out!) My whole life I have ignored the simple saying, " If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I have always had to say something. I have always had to prove something, or always had to defend myself.
I recently looked up the definition of "Humble" and this is what I got.
Humble- having or showing a consciousness of one's shortcomings; modest.
That's what I lack. I admit that I have faults and tell people I am no good all the time. But I don't act like it. Still deep down I act as though I am the best, and I never mess up. What arrogance. What foolishness. Take it from me. It's a life of misery. It's really pathetic how I sound when at the end of the day, I play the things I have said over in my head. It makes me ill. Please learn from me, be humble.
But it's one thing to know something, and another to realize and apply something. You can't be humble if you talk all the time. Maybe that is an arrogant thing to say. Maybe I am the only one who can't be humble and talk all the time. But I think it is universally true.
I think of Jesus. The Bible records him preaching a lot. But I always see him sitting at a well, or in a synagogue. But what about all the times we don't read about Jesus. What about those long walks from place to place with his apostles. I wonder if he were quiet most of the time. I would love to spend time around Jesus and see if he really did talk a lot.
The Bible records Moses being the most humble man in the Bible. I wonder how that happened. He spent a lot of time by himself. Running all the way from Egypt to Midian and then being a shepherd for Jethro's sheep. He probably didn't talk much. Spending time in meditation and prayer is probably what he did a lot of his time.
I am starting to see a connection. I pray from humility every day. But still I catch myself, or others catch me, slipping up. I add my two cents when it doesn't matter. It's the small things that drive me nuts. A little attack there and a little defense there. What does it matter? What am I trying to defend? Jesus is the only perfect one, and when he had a chance to defend himself, he was silent, like a sheep led to the slaughter. I am becoming silent. I am becoming humble. I am becoming like Jesus.
Oh, the beauty of silence.
"Humble yourselves before the lord and he will exalt you." James 4:10
Walking home tonight I was unusually quiet. A friend spoke up and asked me why I was so quiet. My answer was quick and simple. This what I said:
" I was thinking about my speech. I was thinking that, if I never belittled someone, or made myself look better than someone, nor did I make fun of someone, I would probably be silent."
And I was. I have the hardest time being humble. Many people know that. (Thanks for pointing it out!) My whole life I have ignored the simple saying, " If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I have always had to say something. I have always had to prove something, or always had to defend myself.
I recently looked up the definition of "Humble" and this is what I got.
Humble- having or showing a consciousness of one's shortcomings; modest.
That's what I lack. I admit that I have faults and tell people I am no good all the time. But I don't act like it. Still deep down I act as though I am the best, and I never mess up. What arrogance. What foolishness. Take it from me. It's a life of misery. It's really pathetic how I sound when at the end of the day, I play the things I have said over in my head. It makes me ill. Please learn from me, be humble.
But it's one thing to know something, and another to realize and apply something. You can't be humble if you talk all the time. Maybe that is an arrogant thing to say. Maybe I am the only one who can't be humble and talk all the time. But I think it is universally true.
I think of Jesus. The Bible records him preaching a lot. But I always see him sitting at a well, or in a synagogue. But what about all the times we don't read about Jesus. What about those long walks from place to place with his apostles. I wonder if he were quiet most of the time. I would love to spend time around Jesus and see if he really did talk a lot.
The Bible records Moses being the most humble man in the Bible. I wonder how that happened. He spent a lot of time by himself. Running all the way from Egypt to Midian and then being a shepherd for Jethro's sheep. He probably didn't talk much. Spending time in meditation and prayer is probably what he did a lot of his time.
I am starting to see a connection. I pray from humility every day. But still I catch myself, or others catch me, slipping up. I add my two cents when it doesn't matter. It's the small things that drive me nuts. A little attack there and a little defense there. What does it matter? What am I trying to defend? Jesus is the only perfect one, and when he had a chance to defend himself, he was silent, like a sheep led to the slaughter. I am becoming silent. I am becoming humble. I am becoming like Jesus.
Oh, the beauty of silence.
"Humble yourselves before the lord and he will exalt you." James 4:10
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Unveiling Truth
This is another song that I have written. I like to write a lot it seems like. This is just another expression of what's been on my heart here in Albania.
Unveiling Truth
What is it going to take
What needs to be done for you to believe
I pray that the eyes of your heart may be opened
I hope one day you accept the truth that looms over you
If it's evidence you want there is plenty
If it's proof you desire open your eyes and see
For everyone who asks receives
Everyone who seeks finds
Kock and the door shall be opened
The truth is constant
The facts don't change
Ignorance is not bliss and you will soon have hell to pay
Open your eyes and see
Humble yourself and believe
Accept the truth and live
Unveiling Truth
What is it going to take
What needs to be done for you to believe
I pray that the eyes of your heart may be opened
I hope one day you accept the truth that looms over you
If it's evidence you want there is plenty
If it's proof you desire open your eyes and see
For everyone who asks receives
Everyone who seeks finds
Kock and the door shall be opened
The truth is constant
The facts don't change
Ignorance is not bliss and you will soon have hell to pay
Open your eyes and see
Humble yourself and believe
Accept the truth and live
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Bed of Roses
This is just a song I wrote today. Not to long, but when you pause and add breakdowns and sweet riffs, it will make for a pretty good song.
Bed of Roses
you better wake up
time is not on your side
wake up and smell the roses
for even they will soon die
this is not a game
He's coming back and he plays for keeps
there will be no more chances
excuses will not suffice
wake up
wake up
you better wake up
brood of vipers
you can't escape the end
a time is coming when judgment will come
you can't run and you can't hide
here's you chance the time is ticking
the end is near and his justice will be served
don't walk away don't turn your back
wake up
wake up
you better wake up!
Bed of Roses
you better wake up
time is not on your side
wake up and smell the roses
for even they will soon die
this is not a game
He's coming back and he plays for keeps
there will be no more chances
excuses will not suffice
wake up
wake up
you better wake up
brood of vipers
you can't escape the end
a time is coming when judgment will come
you can't run and you can't hide
here's you chance the time is ticking
the end is near and his justice will be served
don't walk away don't turn your back
wake up
wake up
you better wake up!
Friday, August 8, 2008
Excuse me waiter...More water please?
Wow, God blew me away today.
We had our evening class at church and the speaker was talking about water. I have heard it all a million times, Jesus is the living water drink and you will never be thirsty again. (It's highlighted in my Bible.) It sounds great and people love to hear it. Today, however, I understand LIVING water a little more than I did yesterday. Here is what I realized.
Creation- I am not sure if I understand it fully or not, but my Bible says the in the beginning the world was formless and empty and water covered the whole earth. So we see from the beginning there was water. Before there was life on this earth there was water. (Genesis 1:2)
Garden of Eden- The Bible says it did not rain in the garden, water would come up from the ground and water the plants. From that I get that the plants and everything growing grew right from the source of living water. It did not have to rain for nourishment and growth, the ground was saturated with life. We also read of 4 Rivers that flow through the garden. What purpose did they serve. It gave life of course! From the very beginning, we can see that water gives life. (Genesis 2:10-14)
Jacob and the twelve tribes- This is kind of far-fetched and you have to use your imagination but Jacob met those men at the well and because of that found Laban who gave him his wives and eventually through the well, the promise of God to Abraham was fulfilled. (Genesis 29)
The Exodus- The Israelites after 430 years of slavery, after seeing the power of God in plagues and in the parting of the Red Sea, which by the way is a body of water. When they forgot all about God his ability to provide they complained. God tells moses to strike a rock. What happens? Water gushes out. First of all you have to picture close to two million people. In numbers it looks something like this: 2,000,000. That's a whole lot of people. This is not some small stream we are getting here. This is a river in the desert. It provided life for a few million people. That is living water.
There are many more examples I am sure of water and how important to life. We see them all the time, but we think nothing of it. It's so simple, yet so necessary to life. Let's fastforward some years. I am not a Bible scholar but I would venture to guess somewhere a thousand years passes by, possibly more. Let's take a look at the new Testament...
John The Baptist- What was John's mision in life? It was to prepare the war for the Lord. He came baptizing people for their remission of sins. What is a key element to Baptism? Water. (Don't critique my last phrase. I know that water really isn't an element. It is a compound made up of a simple mixture of 2Hydrogen Atoms to 1Oxygen atom. Let's stick to the point at hand.) Water is essential for baptism. How crazy is that? The same thing necessary for life on this earth is the same thing necessary for spiritual life.( *Note* Obviously there are different opinion on the matter at hand. I suggest studying the scriptures for yourself and finding answeres that you may believe to be true. This is what I have come to believe.)
And last and obviously not last...
JESUS CHRIST- Please turn to John Chapter 4.
Here the savior of the world- who has humbled himself more than any one man can grasp (Philippians 2)- sits down at a well and askes a "half-breed" for a drink of water. The Son of Man is thirsty. He asks for water. WOW! that's incredible. So simple yet it leads to something powerful and deep. At this point I kinda feel like Jesus is smiling to himself. He knows he is about to blow this lady away and he is having a hard time keeping it in. So he asks her for a drink. You really have to understand the culture of the day to really get this, but she replies, "How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink of water from me, a Samaritan Woman?"
Then Jesus starts: " If you knew the gift of God, and who is saying to you, "Give Me a drink," you would ask Him, and he would give you living water."
They continue back and forth about physicial water and drawing it of a well. But Jesus cuts in again, and says that people who drink that water become thirsty again and they have to come back and get more water. Now, Jesus let's her really have it. He talks about the living water that he gives, that He is.
Of course that lady's life changes for ever when she realizes that she is talking to the Messiah, and she runs away and tells the whole city. ( I think) But that is so key to life. Right here we see the I AM in the flesh telling us that true life is a wellspring of water flowing out of us giving life to those around us.
Today, water is a big thing in the world. Helping people get clean water to drink, just to survive. There are people dying every second almost, because they don't have clean water to drink. The most simple of concepts and we fail to see it everyday. "NO WATER=NO LIFE"
So please, let's drink together the living water of the Lord. Let's share in the abundance of the well that never goes dry.
I really like the song "All Who are Thirsty" I have included them at the end of this blog. Sorry so long once again. But deal with is. You didn't have to read this far. I love you all, and I am praying.
All who are thirsty
All who are weak
Come to the fountain
Dip your heart in the stream of life
Let the pain and the sorrow
Be washed away
In the waves of his mercy
As deep cries out to deep (we sing)
Come Lord Jesus come
Holy Spirit come
As deep cries out to deep
"All Who are Thirsty by: Kutless"
We had our evening class at church and the speaker was talking about water. I have heard it all a million times, Jesus is the living water drink and you will never be thirsty again. (It's highlighted in my Bible.) It sounds great and people love to hear it. Today, however, I understand LIVING water a little more than I did yesterday. Here is what I realized.
Creation- I am not sure if I understand it fully or not, but my Bible says the in the beginning the world was formless and empty and water covered the whole earth. So we see from the beginning there was water. Before there was life on this earth there was water. (Genesis 1:2)
Garden of Eden- The Bible says it did not rain in the garden, water would come up from the ground and water the plants. From that I get that the plants and everything growing grew right from the source of living water. It did not have to rain for nourishment and growth, the ground was saturated with life. We also read of 4 Rivers that flow through the garden. What purpose did they serve. It gave life of course! From the very beginning, we can see that water gives life. (Genesis 2:10-14)
Jacob and the twelve tribes- This is kind of far-fetched and you have to use your imagination but Jacob met those men at the well and because of that found Laban who gave him his wives and eventually through the well, the promise of God to Abraham was fulfilled. (Genesis 29)
The Exodus- The Israelites after 430 years of slavery, after seeing the power of God in plagues and in the parting of the Red Sea, which by the way is a body of water. When they forgot all about God his ability to provide they complained. God tells moses to strike a rock. What happens? Water gushes out. First of all you have to picture close to two million people. In numbers it looks something like this: 2,000,000. That's a whole lot of people. This is not some small stream we are getting here. This is a river in the desert. It provided life for a few million people. That is living water.
There are many more examples I am sure of water and how important to life. We see them all the time, but we think nothing of it. It's so simple, yet so necessary to life. Let's fastforward some years. I am not a Bible scholar but I would venture to guess somewhere a thousand years passes by, possibly more. Let's take a look at the new Testament...
John The Baptist- What was John's mision in life? It was to prepare the war for the Lord. He came baptizing people for their remission of sins. What is a key element to Baptism? Water. (Don't critique my last phrase. I know that water really isn't an element. It is a compound made up of a simple mixture of 2Hydrogen Atoms to 1Oxygen atom. Let's stick to the point at hand.) Water is essential for baptism. How crazy is that? The same thing necessary for life on this earth is the same thing necessary for spiritual life.( *Note* Obviously there are different opinion on the matter at hand. I suggest studying the scriptures for yourself and finding answeres that you may believe to be true. This is what I have come to believe.)
And last and obviously not last...
JESUS CHRIST- Please turn to John Chapter 4.
Here the savior of the world- who has humbled himself more than any one man can grasp (Philippians 2)- sits down at a well and askes a "half-breed" for a drink of water. The Son of Man is thirsty. He asks for water. WOW! that's incredible. So simple yet it leads to something powerful and deep. At this point I kinda feel like Jesus is smiling to himself. He knows he is about to blow this lady away and he is having a hard time keeping it in. So he asks her for a drink. You really have to understand the culture of the day to really get this, but she replies, "How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink of water from me, a Samaritan Woman?"
Then Jesus starts: " If you knew the gift of God, and who is saying to you, "Give Me a drink," you would ask Him, and he would give you living water."
They continue back and forth about physicial water and drawing it of a well. But Jesus cuts in again, and says that people who drink that water become thirsty again and they have to come back and get more water. Now, Jesus let's her really have it. He talks about the living water that he gives, that He is.
Of course that lady's life changes for ever when she realizes that she is talking to the Messiah, and she runs away and tells the whole city. ( I think) But that is so key to life. Right here we see the I AM in the flesh telling us that true life is a wellspring of water flowing out of us giving life to those around us.
Today, water is a big thing in the world. Helping people get clean water to drink, just to survive. There are people dying every second almost, because they don't have clean water to drink. The most simple of concepts and we fail to see it everyday. "NO WATER=NO LIFE"
So please, let's drink together the living water of the Lord. Let's share in the abundance of the well that never goes dry.
I really like the song "All Who are Thirsty" I have included them at the end of this blog. Sorry so long once again. But deal with is. You didn't have to read this far. I love you all, and I am praying.
All who are thirsty
All who are weak
Come to the fountain
Dip your heart in the stream of life
Let the pain and the sorrow
Be washed away
In the waves of his mercy
As deep cries out to deep (we sing)
Come Lord Jesus come
Holy Spirit come
As deep cries out to deep
"All Who are Thirsty by: Kutless"
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Living In Tune!
Greetings,
Well, now is the time I will explain my new perspective on life and how I view God.
LIVING IN TUNE!
Like I said earlier, I am not a theologian. I am not clever nor do I understand deep truths hidden in the Bible. But I do on the other hand understand music. I love it. I feel it. I need it. In my life I feel a connection to God through music. I see God reveal himself in melodies, and in harmony. I see God and feel his presence in hardcore breakdowns, and blast beats. I can sense him in scales and rudiments.
I had been fighting internally with my faith, and decisions I have made in my life time. I sometimes question my decision to come to AIM and move away from comforts and securities and of course music. I don't know why I said no to playing music and a possible career, or at least an interest in pursuing one and saying yes to leaving for the God I serve.
Then it hit me. The story of God is a beautifully composed and written piece of music. God knows how it is to sound, and how knows how he wants it to be played. The composer knows his music better than the musicians. Musicians sometimes have ideas they think are good, and things they think should add, but in the end, God's is better. In truly coming to grips with this, I also realized, that my life in an instrument in the song.
I sometimes think that I know what's best, or what would sound best. So, I play it. I go ahead and play that trill, or hold out on a hold a little too long, or I add an accidental where it doesn't belong. Sometimes it probably sounds good, and others like to hear it, but other times, it's way off key and it's repulsive. So, that's why my new out look on life is living in tune. I know I will always sound best if I play what God has written. I will be exactly right, when I play what God has written.
There are a few very simple, but very important rules in playing music composed parts for many people:
Listen- Listening is key in playing music. You are not the only musician. We are surrounded by musicians. Playing in and out of tune we need to discern what is the song of the Lord and we need to listen to others that are playing our song. We need to listen and we need to adjust ourselves to the music. We need to always remember to listen. When we listen we know and feel what to play. And in the end, we will learn to play in tune more often and easier.
Keep time- This is also very important. Let's face it, you won't play all the notes right every time. You will come to a run or a scale that is unfamiliar. Don't stop. When you hits those wrong notes, don't give up and quit. Keep the beat. keep playing the song, you will get it next time.
Always Watch the Conductor! - This is THE most important thing in all of playing music. The music is in front of us, but the director knows how to make the notes on the page come alive. you can play all the notes "right" and still sound bad. God is the one who makes the music a story. God is speaking to us through music. Ht knows when to cut and to rest. He knows when to slow it down and to build up for a dramatic bridge or chorus or refrain. You will miss all of the artistry of music if you have your nose stuck on the paper and not keeping your eyes on the one who wrote the music.
Sorry, this was so long, but I had a lot to say. This is how I see life. This is how I am trying to live. I don't understand a lot of things, but I do understand how music goes together and the impact it can have on someone's life. I am playing music everyday of my life. God has written a wonderful song, and I am LIVING IN TUNE!
Well, now is the time I will explain my new perspective on life and how I view God.
LIVING IN TUNE!
Like I said earlier, I am not a theologian. I am not clever nor do I understand deep truths hidden in the Bible. But I do on the other hand understand music. I love it. I feel it. I need it. In my life I feel a connection to God through music. I see God reveal himself in melodies, and in harmony. I see God and feel his presence in hardcore breakdowns, and blast beats. I can sense him in scales and rudiments.
I had been fighting internally with my faith, and decisions I have made in my life time. I sometimes question my decision to come to AIM and move away from comforts and securities and of course music. I don't know why I said no to playing music and a possible career, or at least an interest in pursuing one and saying yes to leaving for the God I serve.
Then it hit me. The story of God is a beautifully composed and written piece of music. God knows how it is to sound, and how knows how he wants it to be played. The composer knows his music better than the musicians. Musicians sometimes have ideas they think are good, and things they think should add, but in the end, God's is better. In truly coming to grips with this, I also realized, that my life in an instrument in the song.
I sometimes think that I know what's best, or what would sound best. So, I play it. I go ahead and play that trill, or hold out on a hold a little too long, or I add an accidental where it doesn't belong. Sometimes it probably sounds good, and others like to hear it, but other times, it's way off key and it's repulsive. So, that's why my new out look on life is living in tune. I know I will always sound best if I play what God has written. I will be exactly right, when I play what God has written.
There are a few very simple, but very important rules in playing music composed parts for many people:
Listen- Listening is key in playing music. You are not the only musician. We are surrounded by musicians. Playing in and out of tune we need to discern what is the song of the Lord and we need to listen to others that are playing our song. We need to listen and we need to adjust ourselves to the music. We need to always remember to listen. When we listen we know and feel what to play. And in the end, we will learn to play in tune more often and easier.
Keep time- This is also very important. Let's face it, you won't play all the notes right every time. You will come to a run or a scale that is unfamiliar. Don't stop. When you hits those wrong notes, don't give up and quit. Keep the beat. keep playing the song, you will get it next time.
Always Watch the Conductor! - This is THE most important thing in all of playing music. The music is in front of us, but the director knows how to make the notes on the page come alive. you can play all the notes "right" and still sound bad. God is the one who makes the music a story. God is speaking to us through music. Ht knows when to cut and to rest. He knows when to slow it down and to build up for a dramatic bridge or chorus or refrain. You will miss all of the artistry of music if you have your nose stuck on the paper and not keeping your eyes on the one who wrote the music.
Sorry, this was so long, but I had a lot to say. This is how I see life. This is how I am trying to live. I don't understand a lot of things, but I do understand how music goes together and the impact it can have on someone's life. I am playing music everyday of my life. God has written a wonderful song, and I am LIVING IN TUNE!
Friday, August 1, 2008
A little about myself.
Well, I finally caved and got a blog!
Since this is my first blog I will say a little about myself.
I am:
If there were a line for grace, I would be the first one in line. I am sinful and broken, but God is good and his son has risen. Therefore, I am a new creation. I am on a journey, and I serve a great God.
I play music, and I really believe that is how I best share God with others. But, I have put that off for a little over a year to learn more of God and to experience him on a more intimate level by moving to Durres, Albania as a missionary-still broken, and still in need of grace.
I have a lot to say, but most of it doesn't amount to anything. My only goal is to worship God and do my best to lead others to the cross where I found true life, and where I found forgiveness.
"A theif comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and have it in abundance."
John 10:10
Since this is my first blog I will say a little about myself.
I am:
- -Broken
- -Beat up
- -Confused
- -Lost
- -Worried
- -Sinful
- -Reborn
- -Saved
- -In need of a Savior
- -In need of Grace
If there were a line for grace, I would be the first one in line. I am sinful and broken, but God is good and his son has risen. Therefore, I am a new creation. I am on a journey, and I serve a great God.
I play music, and I really believe that is how I best share God with others. But, I have put that off for a little over a year to learn more of God and to experience him on a more intimate level by moving to Durres, Albania as a missionary-still broken, and still in need of grace.
I have a lot to say, but most of it doesn't amount to anything. My only goal is to worship God and do my best to lead others to the cross where I found true life, and where I found forgiveness.
"A theif comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and have it in abundance."
John 10:10
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